HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WITH CANCER HAVE NO CLOSE FRIENDS TO TALK TO

Originally published on 4th February 2017

One in eight people with cancer also say they have lost touch with one or more friends following their diagnosis

Around one in 10 people with cancer (9%) in the UK — an estimated 230,000 people — have no close friends they could talk to about their cancer, a new survey by Macmillan Cancer Support shows[i].

It also revealed that around one in eight people (12%) feel they have lost touch with one or more of their friends as a result of having cancer[ii]. But for many people living with cancer, support from their nearest and dearest is invaluable, with four in 10 (43%) saying they couldn’t have coped through their experience without the support of their friends[iii].

Macmillan and YouGov found that almost half of Brits who have had a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer (47%), find it difficult to support them[iv] and 61% of these said this is because they don’t know what to say[v]. Other reasons include people being worried about upsetting a friend with cancer (44%), it being hard to understand what a friend with cancer is going through (35%) and people finding the situation too upsetting (23%)[vi].

This World Cancer Day (Saturday 4th February), Macmillan Cancer Support says talking is an important part of dealing with the illness. The charity is urging people with cancer to connect with Macmillan if they feel they have no one to talk to or don’t feel supported. Macmillan says it can also support people to be there for a loved one, friend or colleague with cancer.

The charity says a range of factors can contribute to friendships being strained following a cancer diagnosis. Michael Howard, Manager of Macmillan’s Online Community, says:

“Whilst lots of people have an amazing network of friends, unfortunately we know that a cancer diagnosis can cause relationships to break down. Some people feel as though they will “burden” friends with their worries so they choose to deal with them alone. At the same time, often people don’t know what to say to friends living with cancer and so avoid communicating altogether.

“Cancer can cause so many worries that are not just related to health, such as the impact on your work, your finances and your confidence. It can be an incredibly overwhelming time and so it’s crucial that people feel supported and have someone to talk to. Simply being there is often exactly what a person needs.

“If you or someone you love is facing cancer, our Online Community is one of the places you’ll be supported with kind words, helpful information and heartfelt virtual hugs from other people who understand, 24 hours a day. If you just need someone to talk to, the team on our Support Line are here to listen too. The Support Line is open Monday to Friday, 9am-8pm.”

Sarah Wickenden, 26, from Sussex, was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014. She says:

“I lost a lot of friends during my cancer. I never knew why but I think it might be because they didn’t know what to say. I don’t hate them; I’m just sad that I was fighting something I didn’t ask for and they ran away from it, without giving me a reason. One positive thing is that it took having cancer to show me who my true friends are.

“I was dealing with a lot of worries at the time — including my finances while I was unable to work — and just needed to know my friends were there. Thankfully Macmillan stepped in and helped me fill out the forms for my entitlements and even got me a grant to pay for a wig when I lost my hair. There is no way I could’ve coped without them.”

If you or someone you love is facing cancer, there may be times when you really need to talk. On our Online Community website, you’ll find people who know how you feel, because they’re facing cancer too. You can ask any questions or say anything you need to say. Just go to community.macmillan.org.uk

[i] Estimate based on YouGov survey of 1,020 people living with a previous cancer diagnosis. Fieldwork was undertaken between 5th and 14th October 2016. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of the living with cancer population. Almost one in 10 people with cancer (9%) either have no close friends at all (4%) or have a close friend but do not feel that they could talk to them about their cancer (5%). This proportion has been applied to the total number of people living with cancer in the UK to reach the estimate of around 230,000 people. Total number of people living with cancer in the UK based on Maddams J, Utley M, Møller H. Projections of cancer prevalence in the United Kingdom, 2010–2040. Br J Cancer 2012; 107: 1195–1202. (Projections scenario 1). Macmillan analysis based on extrapolation of 2010 and 2020 projections that the number of people living with cancer will hit an estimated 2.5 million in 2015.

[ii] Estimate based on YouGov survey of 1,020 people living with a previous cancer diagnosis. Fieldwork was undertaken between 5th and 14th October 2016. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of the living with cancer population.

[iii] Estimate based on YouGov survey of 1,020 people living with a previous cancer diagnosis. Fieldwork was undertaken between 5th and 14th October 2016. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of the living with cancer population.

[iv] All figures, unless otherwise stated, are from YouGov Plc. Total sample size was 4,354 adults, of which 1,295 have had a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. Fieldwork was undertaken between 11th — 13th October 2016. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of all GB adults (aged 18+).

[v] All figures, unless otherwise stated, are from YouGov Plc. Total sample size was 4,354 adults, of which 1,295 have had a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer. Fieldwork was undertaken between 11th — 13th October 2016. The survey was carried out online. The figures have been weighted and are representative of all GB adults (aged 18+).